As 2012 is coming to its halfway mark next month, I started thinking of how this year has been going and what I wished would have happened. I began to unravel from the inside trying to figure out why I was not where I wanted to be. Then I realized I had to stop thinking inwardly to figure it out. Just because I am not where I ideally wish I was right now doesn't mean it is "bad". I can't see the bigger picture being painted, I don't know where I will end up. Sometimes it can be a good thing to not get what you want, but what you need. Being a spiritual person, I try to humbly accept things the way they are but it's damn hard. I feel helpless and hopeless many times. Sometimes it feels like I have to climb a mountain to get back to the road I am supposed to take. Maybe by learning to accept what is, I can start to build a future that way. We never get the ideal future we imagine, but that doesn't mean we don't get an ideal future.
As our ways of life slowly change over time, maybe what worked in the past won't work for the future. I guess I like living under the same philosophy as John Keats, that is Negative Capability: " that is, when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries,
doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason". Basically, being comfortable in the uncomfortable. Always seeking out, never falling apart trying to place oneself in some rhetorical lens of life. My future is not the conventional cut and dry one I thought it would be, but would I really learn and experience life if it was handed to me?
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Well what now?
So as I ecstatically finished my class and saw my degree progress bar jump to 100% I celebrated!! But then I realized, "welp.... now what?" For the first time in 25 years, I have no solid plan or direction. With school I always knew what was coming next and what I was working for. Now things are unpredictable and nothing is set in stone. Unfortunately, my degree doesn't print money like an Engineering degree does. Liberal arts and humanities is unfortunately of declining value in our society.
But, I've always been the stoic type and I learned to accept the way things are and to "go with the flow." However, my faith and character is being tested right now. It's difficult to be comfortable with the unknown. It's a new struggle I will have to overcome. I know it won't be easy, but we weren't put on Earth for a vacation. I just hope that what I've learned and the connections I've made with people are strong enough to help me on my way! If you're reading this, chances are you're someone that has had some sort of impact on me. I appreciate all of you in my life who care, and hope all of you know how much I appreciate and care about you all! One thing I realized is it doesn't matter that I have a degree or what career I will have, it matters most who I have around me and who is there for support. Sounds cliche, but those who have been in a rough spot knows how important that statement is. The way I see it is, we are all part of the same journey, we should help each other along as we struggle together. It's a hard thing to remember sometimes, but I really try to! I hope right now that I can survive the rough changes ahead. I won't lie, I'm scared as hell! But I'm just trying not to let fear cripple me. Well thanks for reading! Hope some of you leave some feedback/encouragement because I need it :)
But, I've always been the stoic type and I learned to accept the way things are and to "go with the flow." However, my faith and character is being tested right now. It's difficult to be comfortable with the unknown. It's a new struggle I will have to overcome. I know it won't be easy, but we weren't put on Earth for a vacation. I just hope that what I've learned and the connections I've made with people are strong enough to help me on my way! If you're reading this, chances are you're someone that has had some sort of impact on me. I appreciate all of you in my life who care, and hope all of you know how much I appreciate and care about you all! One thing I realized is it doesn't matter that I have a degree or what career I will have, it matters most who I have around me and who is there for support. Sounds cliche, but those who have been in a rough spot knows how important that statement is. The way I see it is, we are all part of the same journey, we should help each other along as we struggle together. It's a hard thing to remember sometimes, but I really try to! I hope right now that I can survive the rough changes ahead. I won't lie, I'm scared as hell! But I'm just trying not to let fear cripple me. Well thanks for reading! Hope some of you leave some feedback/encouragement because I need it :)
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
What have I REALLY learned?
Well as I finish up my last course in college I began to reflect upon my experience and look at what I took from it all. I spent awhile thinking about it and I decided to post my biggest life lessons learned and hopefully some of you can take something from this!!
Lesson 1: Change is important
One thing I really learned was that you never find an absolute way of living and thinking. The more you learn and see, the more you have to realize that your own views can't account for everything. It's easy to fall back on rhetoric and established views, but those offer easy answers to difficult questions and are hollow in reasoning. Sometimes change can challenge you and make you uncomfortable. When it comes to issues like religion, changing a stance seems heretical and wrong. I know, I've been there. But I realized that focusing on the core tenements of faith and spirituality (compassion, understanding, etc.) and not on a dogmatic doctrine, faith began to make a lot more sense. Spiritual growth is something that needs to continue like anything else. We are here to learn and grow, to ask questions, to connect with ourselves and others. Whenever anything leads us to judge, persecute or become self righteous and zealous, then that's not helping you grow in spirituality, but stunting it. Its like weeds in a garden, they choke out the real, strong growth and it dies out.
Lesson 2: What do you leave behind you?
As you go into the world and make connections with others, you influence them and affect their lives. can you look back on your life and say "I leave a lot of goodness behind me and empowered those around me"? Sometimes people see relationships as opportunities to advance themselves and will stab someone in the back if it suits their purpose. They will do what benefits them and gets them ahead. They don't see the point in loyalty, honor or respect. They leave behind them a trail of misery and hurt. Sometimes it's easy to gossip or seems convenient to shut people out, but every action affects what others think about you. I learned it's best to take the higher road and not start drama or turn your back on someone when they become "inconvenient." People aren't products, they aren't there for you to use and then discard at your convenience. When people remember you, they will either remember how you really helped/empowered them or they will remember how you hurt them. Don't do the latter.
Lesson 3: Put the "real" in relationship.
One of the biggest things I always see are poor or superficial relationships. so and so dating/hooking up with so and so, people getting laid at parties etc. It's easy when you're in college to get the mentality of just hooking up with people or dating around frivolously. End result? People become miserable and complain they can't find anyone decent. Well a big reason is, most people don't try! The relationships I see that last are ones based on (big shocker) mutual interest and a strong personality connection! One person really feeds off the other and feels good when they know they can communicate and receive support from someone. The weak relationships are the ones based on superficial attraction. Joe Bro dates Susie Sorority because they are attracted to each other and figure the connection will come. Well it doesn't work that way. What's the point of being with someone you can't even have a good conversation with? Or that have no depth of character and just act like they are the coolest/hottest thing on the planet? I'm guilty of dating or being with people based on superficial reasons but I learned quickly that it's just not worth it. At this point I've become dulled to a pretty face until I actually talk to them and see WHO they are. attractiveness IS important sure, but that's only a small factor in a long lasting relationship. heartbreak is a miserable thing to go through, and it's easily avoided if you don't wear your heart on a sleeve and fall for hallmark card prose and empty words.
Lesson 4: Stick true to you
It's really easy to be persuaded by everyone around you to follow the status quo, or to have them discourage you from doing what matters to you. Sometimes it can be REAALY hard to stick to your guns when it's so easy to just compromise your values or goals to make life easier. But truth is, you'll lose yourself if you do that. You won't become the person you want to be, or would be happy being. It really is worth it to stick to your guns even though it's hard. Those who really respect you will stick around and those that don't never respected you in the first place, so why return the favor?
These are the biggest lessons I've learned. Some may seem like trite truisms and greeting card logic, but I think I explained myself pretty well :) I hope you took something from this!
Lesson 1: Change is important
One thing I really learned was that you never find an absolute way of living and thinking. The more you learn and see, the more you have to realize that your own views can't account for everything. It's easy to fall back on rhetoric and established views, but those offer easy answers to difficult questions and are hollow in reasoning. Sometimes change can challenge you and make you uncomfortable. When it comes to issues like religion, changing a stance seems heretical and wrong. I know, I've been there. But I realized that focusing on the core tenements of faith and spirituality (compassion, understanding, etc.) and not on a dogmatic doctrine, faith began to make a lot more sense. Spiritual growth is something that needs to continue like anything else. We are here to learn and grow, to ask questions, to connect with ourselves and others. Whenever anything leads us to judge, persecute or become self righteous and zealous, then that's not helping you grow in spirituality, but stunting it. Its like weeds in a garden, they choke out the real, strong growth and it dies out.
Lesson 2: What do you leave behind you?
As you go into the world and make connections with others, you influence them and affect their lives. can you look back on your life and say "I leave a lot of goodness behind me and empowered those around me"? Sometimes people see relationships as opportunities to advance themselves and will stab someone in the back if it suits their purpose. They will do what benefits them and gets them ahead. They don't see the point in loyalty, honor or respect. They leave behind them a trail of misery and hurt. Sometimes it's easy to gossip or seems convenient to shut people out, but every action affects what others think about you. I learned it's best to take the higher road and not start drama or turn your back on someone when they become "inconvenient." People aren't products, they aren't there for you to use and then discard at your convenience. When people remember you, they will either remember how you really helped/empowered them or they will remember how you hurt them. Don't do the latter.
Lesson 3: Put the "real" in relationship.
One of the biggest things I always see are poor or superficial relationships. so and so dating/hooking up with so and so, people getting laid at parties etc. It's easy when you're in college to get the mentality of just hooking up with people or dating around frivolously. End result? People become miserable and complain they can't find anyone decent. Well a big reason is, most people don't try! The relationships I see that last are ones based on (big shocker) mutual interest and a strong personality connection! One person really feeds off the other and feels good when they know they can communicate and receive support from someone. The weak relationships are the ones based on superficial attraction. Joe Bro dates Susie Sorority because they are attracted to each other and figure the connection will come. Well it doesn't work that way. What's the point of being with someone you can't even have a good conversation with? Or that have no depth of character and just act like they are the coolest/hottest thing on the planet? I'm guilty of dating or being with people based on superficial reasons but I learned quickly that it's just not worth it. At this point I've become dulled to a pretty face until I actually talk to them and see WHO they are. attractiveness IS important sure, but that's only a small factor in a long lasting relationship. heartbreak is a miserable thing to go through, and it's easily avoided if you don't wear your heart on a sleeve and fall for hallmark card prose and empty words.
Lesson 4: Stick true to you
It's really easy to be persuaded by everyone around you to follow the status quo, or to have them discourage you from doing what matters to you. Sometimes it can be REAALY hard to stick to your guns when it's so easy to just compromise your values or goals to make life easier. But truth is, you'll lose yourself if you do that. You won't become the person you want to be, or would be happy being. It really is worth it to stick to your guns even though it's hard. Those who really respect you will stick around and those that don't never respected you in the first place, so why return the favor?
These are the biggest lessons I've learned. Some may seem like trite truisms and greeting card logic, but I think I explained myself pretty well :) I hope you took something from this!
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